


Cowboy Ever After

by ginger_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas was abused in his last relationship, Cowboy Dean, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Castiel, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Castiel, Past Abuse, Rodeo Cowboy Dean, Waiter Castiel, past Castiel/Uriel - Freeform, past Dean/Lisa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginger_angel/pseuds/ginger_angel
Summary: Castiel Novak doesn’t believe in happy endings.  It would be easy for the down-on-his-luck waiter to fall for rodeo champion Dean Winchester’s thoughtful charm and gentle spirit.  But Cas knows that when the rodeo moves on from Blue Falls, Texas so will Dean.Dean can’t stop thinking about Castiel – his gorgeous smile and the quiet strength beneath his vulnerability.  Dean sees that Cas’ heart has been broken before.  But if he’d give him a chance, Dean’s ready to prove that Castiel’s happy ending has just begun.Written for the Destiel Harlequin Challenge 2017.





	Cowboy Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, this has not been looked over by a beta reader. I tend to wait until the last minute to finish things. I've read over it but if I have missed anything glaring, please let me know and I will fix it! Also, this is a pretty fluffy story with no explicit details about past relationships. That being said, let me know if I missed any tags.
> 
> Thanks to the mods of the Destiel Harlequin Challenge for getting me into writing again. I've been going through some pretty hard times and I needed an excuse to get back in the writing game. I'd be happy to do it again and have already signed up for another challenge!
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Practice always makes perfect and I can't get better if I don't get feedback.
> 
> Thanks and I hope you enjoy!

Sunday, June 26th

Castiel didn’t know if a family barbecue qualified as an official date, but he couldn’t deny the fact that Dean looked good standing next to the grill talking with his brother, Sam, and flipping the burger patties. It was a gorgeous summer day in Blue Falls, Texas. The Winchester brothers had felt like hosting a barbecue before the rodeo crowd descended on the town and had invited their entire extended family to the ranch for the occasion. Cas could hardly believe the last three weeks were real and that he was standing in Sam Winchester’s backyard with family and friends surrounding him. If someone had told him a month ago that he would be dating one of the US Rodeo Circuit’s most eligible bachelors, he would have laughed in their face.

_Three weeks ago_

Castiel had been spending a quiet Thursday night working at the Roadhouse when Dean Winchester had first sauntered into the bar. He’d noticed the man hovering inside the door with a smile on his face. He looked like he fit in around Blue Falls with his dusty jeans, plaid button-down shirt rolled up past his elbows and dark work boots looking like they had walked a million miles. He didn’t wear a hat like many of the ranchers around the area and Cas could tell that his face had tanned a little from exposure to the sun. This man was gorgeous. And probably straight as most of the cowboys that came into the Roadhouse were these days. Castiel didn’t like to assume because even though Blue Falls was about as progressive an area as Texas got these days he’d been subjected to some pretty nasty language his first few weeks as a server due to trying out his rusty flirting skills. It hadn’t taken him long to perfect the “polite interest” persona when anyone, male or female, came into the bar. Cas had to remind himself that this was probably a good thing given the beating his personal life had taken upon leaving Chicago last year. He’d lost faith in himself and his ability to know a good situation. His brother, Gabriel, had assured him that he would gain confidence with time but he was still so insecure. He sighed and pushed the bad memories away as he turned to walk over and offer to seat the man, but then he heard a screech from behind him and he stopped in his tracks.

“Dean Winchester! You’re a sight for sore eyes!” Cas watched as Jo Harvelle ran over and jumped into the man’s arms. He’d never seen Jo act that way over any man. She was usually the girl with the “take no shit” attitude that would smack down any man or woman that couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. To see her acting like a high school girl was quite a surprise. 

“Jesus, Jo. Tone it down, will ya?” The man that must be Dean smirked at her and held her up by her thighs as she wrapped him in a hug. His voice was rougher than Cas expected coming out of such a, well, a pretty face. 

“Pfft, everyone here already knows who you are. You’re the local celebrity, remember?” She pulled back and wiggled. Dean put her gently on the ground and returned her hug.

“Yeah, I’d feel much better about that if I’d done something worth being a celebrity for. I’m just good at keeping my seat is all.” Castiel snorted at that comment but realized that he hadn’t been as surreptitious as he though when two sets of eyes turned his way. He felt his cheeks heat as he turned and began to wipe down the already spotless bar top. He heard conversation start again between the pair but tried not to pay attention to what they were saying. That lasted about two minutes as Jo led Dean over to the bar. Dean took a seat in front of Cas while Jo stepped back behind the bar. 

“You’re a little early for the rodeo, aren’t you Dean? Or did you get your months mixed up?” Jo grabbed a pint glass and began to fill it with a local IPA. There was curiosity in her eyes but also affection. Cas’ stomach twisted a little. He could see how close these two were and it made him jealous. Aside from his brother with whom he was staying he had few friends and even fewer romantic prospects. It was easy to get jealous over his coworker and her apparent relationship with the good-looking cowboy.

“Yeah I’m a little early, but you know how busy I get that weekend. I wouldn’t have any time to come bug my little sister if I waited until July to show up.”

“Wait, sister?” Cas didn’t realize he had spoken out loud until he saw Dean’s glass pause halfway to his mouth. Dean and Jo shared a look before Jo turned to Cas and leaned against the bar.

“Cas, I’m sure I’ve told you about Dean before. He and Sam stayed with us from time to time as kids when his dad ran off on a job. He’s like a brother to me. Dean, this is Cas. Mom took him on during the winter.” Cas blushed and looked away. For reasons he refused to contemplate it made him happy that Dean and Jo weren’t involved. He must have been obvious about his thoughts because he could see Dean smile and duck his head from the corner of his eye. _Great, he thinks I’m an idiot_ , Cas thought to himself. 

“Hey, Cas. It’s nice to meet you.” Dean smiled again. Cas noticed that it made his eyes crinkle at the sides. It made his stomach flutter unexpectedly. Cas smiled back but couldn’t bring himself to say anything for fear of looking like an even bigger idiot.

Jo turned back to Dean and Cas took that opportunity to escape to the kitchen. He grabbed a couple plates and took them out to the customers. A few drinks needed refilling and he stopped to make small talk with Rufus, the surly vet that like to come in on his lunch breaks and give the Roadhouse servers a tough time. By the time Castiel had return from his rounds, Dean had moved to a booth and Sam had joined him. He went back to the bar where Jo was filling a couple of pints.

“He’s hot, right? I know you noticed earlier.” Jo’s voice was low and teasing. She had obviously seen the way Cas blushed earlier and had taken it as interest on his part.

“I…uhh,” Cas replied. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Uh, yeah. Yes, he is. And he knows it. Doesn’t mean he would appreciate it if I told him so.”

“Well, now, that’s where you’d be wrong. He doesn’t really talk about it much because he’s caught flak for it in the past, but he’s attracted to all kinds. Go for it.” Jo winked at Cas and took the two pints delivering them to Dean and Sam’s table. Cas remained behind the bar staring at the three of them as Jo said something to make the men laugh. When Jo returned to the bar she whispered to Cas to close his mouth. Cas’ jaw snapped shut but his mind wouldn’t stop spinning.

Dean and Sam continued their discussion through a dinner of bacon cheeseburgers, a slice of Ellen’s pecan pie, and another couple of pints. Castiel made a few more rounds before the Roadhouse cleared out almost completely. It was close to midnight but the two men didn’t appear to notice until Cas wandered over. He cleared his throat and tried not to melt under the gaze of the two in the booth.

“Heyyyy, Cas,” Dean drawled. “Sam, have you met Cas?” Castiel stared at Dean with his head tilted a little to the side. Was Dean drunk? It didn’t appear that he’d had anything more than a few beers tonight. Sam laughed.

“Yeah, Dean. I do live here, remember? How are you Castiel?” Sam gave Cas a polite smile and a nod.

“I’m well, Sam. How are you?” 

“I’m good, man. It’s been a while.”

“Yes, I haven’t seen you and Amelia at the Roadhouse for months,” Cas replied. It had been Mother’s Day the last time Sam had brought Amelia into the Roadhouse. The couple did not have kids but Sam liked to joke that Amelia mothered all the pets and pet owners in the area in her job as the local veterinarian.

“Yeah, I know. Bobby reminds me every time he comes out to the ranch for something.” Cas noticed that Dean hadn’t taken his eyes from him the entire conversation. And he had that smile again that made his eyes crinkle. It made Cas nervous. Why was Dean looking at him like that?

“Cas.” Dean slapped his hands on the table top and stood up. Cas started, half afraid Dean would topple over.

“Yes, Dean?” Cas tried not to fidget but it was hard with Dean focused on him.

“You and me. We’re gonna go out.”

“We’re – wait, what are you talking about?”

“We are going on a date. I’m going to take you out Saturday night.” Cas was floored. This man was good-looking and successful. Why did he need to ask plain ol’ Castiel out on a date?

“Jesus, Dean. Don’t you think you should ask him if he’s busy first? Or maybe if he’s working?” Sam was laughing but it was aimed at his brother, so Cas didn’t feel like Sam was making fun of him.

“Ellen will give him the night off if I ask her. She loves me.” Sam snorted but he didn’t argue with that statement. The brothers turned to look at Cas. Once again he felt pinned in place by their dual gazes.

“Yes?” Cas tried not to let his voice break as he responded.

“Was that a statement or a question, Cas?” Dean replied.

“Yes. Yes, Dean. I will go on a date with you Saturday night.” 

“Awesome, you won’t regret it.”

Cas was in a daze as he walked back to the kitchen. He exchanged his serving apron for his wine-colored hoodie. It was too warm this time of year to be wearing his trench coat. He wasn’t even sure why he brought the coat from Chicago except he’d been wearing it when he left his apartment and his life with Uriel. It was a survivor. Cas thought of himself as a survivor sometimes too. Now if only he survived the date with Dean later that week.

Their date on Saturday went well enough that Cas had already agreed to a second date a few days later by the time they left the diner where Dean had taken him. Castiel didn’t understand why Dean would want a second date. He didn’t think he’d impressed Dean with his life’s accomplishments. He was a thirtysomething waiter living with his brother in a tiny two-bedroom apartment in Blue Falls, Texas. Dean was a successful man with a recent rodeo championship under his belt. Cas felt particularly boring next to the list of places and people Dean had been and met. But he wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass him by. If Dean wanted to continue dating him while he spent the month in Blue Falls, Cas would be the last person to argue with him.

Dean drove Cas home and gave him a chaste kiss at the bottom of the stairs to the apartment Cas shared with his brother. It was early enough that Gabriel would still be awake and Cas wasn’t ready to tempt fate by kissing his date where Gabe could see him. Cas could tell that Dean wanted to be invited upstairs but Cas still shied away from intimacy, as though afraid that letting himself open up would lead to a repeat of the events that drove him from Chicago. It didn’t seem to bother Dean too much when Cas shook his head and started up the stairs alone. Dean stood at the bottom of the stairs watching Cas until he disappeared behind the door to his apartment. Cas stood at the door to his apartment until he heard the throaty growl of Dean’s car pull away from the curb. Smiling to himself, he turned and went into his room determined to ignore Gabriel for at least the night.

_Present_

“Whatcha thinking about, Cas?” Castiel didn’t realize how much he’d zoned out until he felt the voice in his ear. Startled, his eyes flew to Dean standing next to him.

“Oh, uhm. I was just thinking about the night we met.” Cas replied seriously.

“Yeah, you couldn’t keep your eyes off me, could ya?” Dean bounced his eyebrows up and down in a way that Cas thought was supposed to be sexy but only made him look silly. Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

“Someone had to watch you before you made a fool of yourself. You were acting quite drunk.”

“I wasn’t though. I was just super nervous. Cute guy like you? I was afraid you would turn me down once I decided I was going to ask you out.” Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel from behind and rested his chin on Cas’ shoulder. They stood there swaying for a few moments.

“How did you know, Dean?” Cas said shyly. 

“Know what?”

“That I would be receptive to going on a date with you?” Cas turned his head to look at Dean. It didn’t bother him that Dean had been so forward to ask him out. He was truly curious though as to how Dean knew that he would want to go on a date with him.

“Ah, well. You can blame that on Jo and Sam. Jo noticed you looking at me that night at the Roadhouse and she mentioned to me that you were open to dating all genders. Her words, not mine. Sam confirmed it by telling me a little about how you ended up in Blue Falls.”

“And how exactly does Sam know how I ended up in Blue Falls?” Cas’ heart sped up a little at hearing this confession from Dean. He didn’t want anyone to know how he ended up in this little corner of Texas. He didn’t even want his brother to know but since Cas had needed a place to crash Gabriel had become his only option. 

“Yeah, that you can blame on Gabriel. Apparently he talks too much when he gets drunk. He and Sam are both on the rodeo planning committee. They went out for drinks after a meeting one night and ended up at the Roadhouse. Gabriel worries about you, you know.” Dean finished gently.

“Yeah, I know. He doesn’t like to show it. He thinks it ‘tarnishes his spotless reputation’.” Dean laughed at Cas’ use of air quotes. “How much does Sam know?” Cas quietly asked.

“Not as much as Gabriel does, that’s for sure. Gabe clamed up once he realized he’d been spilling the beans. Sam told me it was a bad break up and that the cops had to get involved but that is really all he knows. So that’s all I know.” Cas hummed but didn’t say anything. Truthfully, he didn’t like to think about the events that had driven him to Blue Falls. He’d been in Texas for almost 7 months. The nightmares surrounding the events that led him to Blue Falls had almost disappeared. His hesitation must have shown in his face because Dean pulled him closer.

“Cas, you don’t gotta tell me what happened in Chicago. You tell me as much as you want to tell me. I’ll be here and I’ll listen.”

“I love that about you, Dean Winchester. You are a patient, caring man. I think I did well when I overlooked your obvious narcissism and accepted that date with you.”

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed but Cas could see that it didn’t really bother him. Dean was quieter when he continued. “Cas, we all got secrets. I’m not going to judge you for the ones you chose not to tell me. When you’re ready, I’m here. If you never want to tell me, that’s fine.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas squeezed Dean’s arms. Dean reciprocated by pressing a kiss to the side of Cas’ head.

“Hey, you wanna go to my place and make out?” Dean whispered in Cas’ hear. Cas giggled. He was pretty sure the entire Winchester family would realize what was happening if Dean and Cas suddenly disappeared and were seen heading up the stairs to Dean’s apartment over the garage. Just the suggestion made him feel better. Although the talk of Chicago had made his insecurities rear their ugly heads again, Dean had made them mostly go away with his tease. It may have only been three weeks but Cas was pretty sure he was falling in love with Dean Winchester. Now if Dean would only fall in love with him back.

The two stood together for a little while longer until Dean was called back to the grill by Sam. He gave Cas a quick peck on the lips before wandering off. Cas was roped into a conversation with Ellen and Jo. Their eyes met quite a few times over the course of the evening and neither man could help smiling when it happened.

Wednesday, June 29th

The rodeo that led Dean back to Blue Falls was scheduled to begin in just a few short days over the Fourth of July holiday weekend. The small town of Blue Falls would be inundated with 50 times the number of people that it was used to for the other 51 weeks of the year. Cas had never been through a Blue Falls Rodeo weekend. The weeks leading up to the rodeo had been slow at the Roadhouse. The crew at the bar had done nothing but tell stories about previous years. And although Dean had been sweet and attentive during recent weeks, Cas had heard some raunchy stories – some of them downright unbelievable and most of them involving Dean. He was struggling again with feelings of inadequacy. If Dean had really done all of the things that Jo said he had, how would Cas ever be able to hold his interest long term?

Cas had to hold on to the fact that Dean continued to ask him for more and more dates. Their last date – the barbecue at the ranch outside of town – had felt more like “meeting the family” than an actual date although Cas had already met Sam before Dean came back to Blue Falls. But Cas had finally met Bobby in an official family capacity and had learned how close Ellen and Jo really were to the Winchesters when they were invited for the barbecue as well. 

Dean had mentioned that day about wanting to retire from the rodeo but didn’t know how he would help Sam pay for the ranch without the income. Cas was surprised to hear that Dean had been considering retirement and wondered if it meant Dean sticking around in Blue Falls or if he would have to find somewhere else to settle down. He was hopeful that the last three weeks of dating had been good enough that Dean would consider staying so that they could see how their relationship progressed. Cas told Dean at the barbecue that they must get through the rodeo before making any big decisions. He’d gotten his hopes up before and had them dashed on the rocks of reality when things didn’t turn out as expected.

Castiel wasn’t scheduled to work tonight so Dean had planned on taking him to dinner. However, when he woke he felt like his head was about to explode. Shifting in bed Cas noted that his equilibrium was off as well. He groaned and buried his head in his pillow. What horrible timing for a migraine to pop up. He wasn’t too surprised, though. He tended to get them whenever he was under stress. The upcoming weekend as well as learning that Dean was aware of the events in Chicago were enough to throw his body out of whack. He grabbed his phone from the side table. Cracking open an eye just wide enough to see the phone he opened up the messaging app.

**[Cas] (7:21 am): Dean. I’m afraid I will have to cancel our date tonight. Something has come up.**

_[Dean] (7:22 am): r u ok?_

_[Dean] (7:34 am): cas? u still there?_

_[Dean] (7:45 am): CAS!_

**[Cas] (7:47 am): Yes, Dean. I’m sorry. I’m here. I woke up with a migraine this morning. I will be taking medication for it and going back to bed.**

**[Cas] (7:49 am): I’ll be fine by tomorrow but I know you must meet with your sponsors so we won’t be able to see each other until Monday.**

_[Dean] (7:50 am): s’ok sweetheart. u rest. u need anything?_

**[Cas] (7:55 am): Thank you Dean. No, I’ve got everything I need. I’ll text you later when I’m feeling up to it. I miss you.**

_[Dean] (7:57 am): miss you 2 baby. feel better._

Cas put his phone down and rolled over. Staring at his screen like that had made the daggers behind his eyes sink in deeper. Probably not smart but easier than calling Dean and trying to explain to him over the phone that he would have to cancel their date. Cas was already close to crying from the pain in his head. Telling Dean that he wouldn’t be able to see him until Monday would definitely have made him break down. 

Cas cautiously sat up, waiting for a moment to let the nausea pass before standing up and shuffling to the bathroom to grab his migraine pills. While there he wet a washcloth to put over his eyes. Shuffling back to the bed, he threw back the pills before washing them down with water. He took a deep breath and put the washcloth on his face. He was so very grateful that Dean seemed to go with the flow when it came to Cas. Except for the barbecue on Sunday, Dean had already let Cas pick all the places they went on their dates. He hadn’t pushed Cas to get more physical with their relationship. They’d had some very nice make out sessions in the back of Dean’s car. But Dean seemed to understand that  
Cas needed to take it slow. He was so close to letting Dean take it all the way. Maybe after this weekend they could see what happened. For the moment, Cas was focused on trying to relax and let his body drift off to sleep.

Friday, July 1st

Friday rolled around and Castiel has had no time to see Dean since the barbecue. The opening ceremonies for the Blue Falls Rodeo were scheduled to start around the same time as Cas’ shift at the Roadhouse and Dean, as the reigning rodeo circuit champion, was expected to lead the parade. Cas was scheduled to work Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. Ellen had given Cas Monday off so that he and Dean could watch the fireworks from Sam’s ranch after the closing ceremonies. Once again Dean must have had something to do with that because Jo had told him that the Roadhouse would be extremely busy on the 4th due to the holiday. Cas didn’t think he’d see much of Dean over the weekend as Dean had told him that he was riding in 3 different events and had other obligations for sponsors during the evenings after the rodeo had ended for the day.  
It was frustrating to be kept apart but they had promised to continue texting throughout the weekend. Dean was sending him funny observations about the other cowboys and about members of the crowd. It seemed that one patron had almost fallen over the rail into the arena when he’d tried to impersonate one of rodeo clowns. His wife, who had looked extremely embarrassed according to Dean, had to grab onto his belt to try and keep him from going “ass over teakettle” into the arena. The emojis Dean had included with that text had Cas smiling for a good hour.

_[Dean] (6:43 pm): baby, come save me! This one chick keeps looking like she wants 2 eat me._

**[Cas] (6:47 pm): Maybe she does. I’ve told you how good you look in those jeans you wear when you ride, Dean.**

_[Dean] (6:51 pm): >:( she can’t have me. all yours. u comin 2 watch me ride 2nite?_

**[Cas] (7:01 pm): Alas, you know that I can’t tonight. In fact, Ellen keeps looking at me with suspicion since I can’t seem to put my phone down. I’d better get back to work. I’m thinking about you. Good luck in your event, Dean. You’ll do great.**

_[Dean] (7:04 pm): u know it._

Sunday, July 3rd

Sunday night turned out to be as busy as advertised. Jo had warned Cas that the Roadhouse would be packed. Since Friday and Saturday night had turned out well Castiel thought that he would be able to handle the increase in customers following the final day of the rodeo. He hated when he was wrong. 

Dean hadn’t sent him a text all day and Cas was kind of missing the man. They hadn’t gone an entire day without some form of communication since that first date. It was making him a little short with the other servers. Ellen had commented on his attitude and Cas just brushed it off at being stressed at the number of people at the Roadhouse that night. Cas hadn’t expected Dean to come in so was surprised when Jo mentioned seeing Dean and his manager in one of the corner booths. 

“Yeah, he hasn’t been here long,” Jo said, wiping her forehead before picking up another order of drinks. “They just put in their order. They’ll be here a while.” Dean wasn’t seated in Cas’ section so Cas decided that as soon as he had a quick break he would stop over and see how Dean and his manager were doing. 

Over 45 minutes later, Cas found himself able to slip off his apron and on his way to the corner where Jo had said Dean was seated. He wound his way through bodies before stopping a few feet away from the booth where he saw the back of Dean’s head. Seated next to Dean was a woman with long brunette hair and tanned skin. Their heads were bent together as the woman passed her phone over to Dean. From what Cas could see there were pictures on her phone that she was intent on showing Dean. Her had was resting on Dean’s arm. Cas’ stomach dropped into his feet as the sound of Dean’s laugh carried towards him. 

Stepping up to the table Castiel gave Dean and the woman a tight smile. “Dean, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” he said with a question in his voice. 

“Hey, Cas. Yeah, me and Lis here thought we’d get a bite and I could introduce you at the same time.” Dean looked happy as he nudged the woman next to him. She smiled politely at Cas. “Cas, this is my manger, Lisa. Lis, this is the guy I was telling you about.” 

Lisa held out her hand for Cas to shake. He reached out carefully, not wanting to offend the woman but not too keen on shaking her hand. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lisa.” Cas didn’t want to say that Dean hadn’t mentioned that his manager was a woman, but he was tempted. He was tempted to say many things to this woman who was sitting so close to Dean. He was tempted to say some things to Dean as well. 

“You too, Cas. Dean’s been telling me all about you. I haven’t been able to shut him up since this morning.” She turned and looked at Dean as she spoke. Cas could see the twinkle in her eye as she did and it made the back of his throat hurt. He swallowed a few times as he stood there, unsure of what to say next. She looked at Dean like they had history. Dean didn’t talk about his past so maybe they did. Cas didn’t know why this was making him so emotional; it wasn’t like he was unaware that Dean had been with others before him. 

“Lisa came to town so we could talk about that whole retirement thing. As my manager she’s the one that knows the most about the contracts I have with my sponsors. All I do is sign where she tells me to.” Dean hugged Lisa to him with that confession. Lisa laid her head on Dean’s shoulder and laughed softly. 

“That is nothing you should be admitting to, Dean. You know I always tell you to read those contracts when I send them to you,” she admonished. 

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we’ve got the business out of the way and were just catching up on the personal stuff when you wandered over. You have a few more minutes for a break?” Dean waved at the other side of the booth, vacant since Lisa was sitting next to Dean and didn’t look like she wanted to move to the other side of the table. 

Cas had been hoping to have a few moments alone with Dean but the way he stuck to Lisa’s side the whole time Cas had been standing there was upsetting. He looked away and blinked back tears. It was stupid to cry, he knew, but it felt as though Dean had been keeping this from him. “I’m sorry, Dean. I have to get back to work.” Cas turned and quickly made his way back to the kitchen. He thought he might have heard Dean call his name but no one appeared to try and stop him from leaving. He pushed through the kitchen door and stopped just inside. Leaning up against the wall, he took a few deep breaths and tried to get himself under control. How was he ever going to finish his shift with all these emotions swirling through him? He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them a few minutes later, Jo was coming through the door. She stopped and appeared to look Cas over. 

“Cas, you okay? You look like you got hit by a truck.” She walked over to him looking like she was ready to catch him should he fall. Do I really look that bad, he wondered to himself? 

“Jo, I – I don’t know if I’m okay.” Castiel took a deep breath and started over. “Did you know Dean’s manager was a woman?” 

“Who, Lisa? Yeah, they go way back. Dean and Lisa used to be a couple back when Dean was in his mid-twenties. Real serious, too. Me and mom thought they’d get married, especially since Dean was practically acting like Ben’s dad for a while. I guess Lisa wasn’t keen on all his travelling during the early days of his rodeo career so she dumped him. Agreed to keep managing him, though.” Cas let his head fall against the wall. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , he thought. 

“And who, may I ask, is Ben?” Yep, way to go Castiel. Just keep digging at that wound. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know but if he didn’t get the whole picture now he was afraid he wouldn’t never find out. It was obvious Dean hadn’t wanted to tell him. 

“Lisa’s son. He’s about fifteen now, I think. Ben was seven when Dean and Lisa met. Dean’s always wanted a family and this one was ready made for him.” Of course, Dean wanted a family. Dean wanted the one thing Cas wasn’t physically able to give him. Maybe he should just step aside and let Lisa have Dean back. She seemed like she was still interested in him after all these years. Dean was older now, and ready to retire. Maybe he would be happy with his ready-made family back. As much as it hurt to admit, Cas was questioning his commitment to a relationship as well as Dean’s desire to stay with him. 

Determined to face Dean and the consequences of his half-baked decision, Cas went back out to confront Dean only to find that the table he and Lisa had been sitting at was now empty. Quickly retreating back to the kitchen, Cas found Jo there and cornered her before she could sprint back out to serve her customers. 

“Did you see Dean and Lisa leave?” Cas asked, out of breath. 

“Yeah, they just walked out about 5 minutes ago. They were going to head for Dean’s place to finish talking.” She was too busy grabbing plates ready to go out to notice the look on Cas’ face upon hearing this news. 

“Talking, yeah…” Cas seemed to visibly deflate upon hearing this. Of course Dean would take Lisa back to his apartment. They could make plans for the future there without anyone else in the way. Cas struggled with the decision to leave work and confront Dean while he might still be with Lisa or wait until tomorrow. Better go now and rip the Band-Aid off, he though. If he waited until tomorrow he’d most likely walk in on some domestic scene with Dean making Lisa breakfast or something. Since it seemed as if the crowds were starting to die down, Cas begged Ellen to let him off early claiming he wasn’t feeling well. Ellen let him go with some concern in her eyes but Cas swore he was just tired from dealing with more patrons than he was used to. 

He hurried out to his car and took off towards the Winchester ranch. He drove the fifteen minutes in a daze, not really remembering the turns and stops. When he pulled up outside the house he saw Dean’s car sitting outside the garage and the lights to his apartment were all on. With trepidation Cas started to climb the stairs leading to Dean’s front door. 

Cas didn’t bother knocking and just walked in. Dean was sitting on the sofa with Lisa, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. He looked surprised to see Cas and it had Cas stopping just inside the door, uncertain of whether he should move forward or just turn around and leave. 

“Cas, what are you doing here? I thought your shift didn’t end until midnight?” Dean sounded happy to see him but if that was the case why hadn’t he moved away from Lisa? 

“I came because we need to talk, Dean. Tonight’s events have made some things very clear to me and I think I need to get this off my chest.” Dean and Lisa shared a look and Lisa started to get up. 

“Maybe I should go-“ she started as she rose from the sofa. 

“No, Lisa. You can stay. I will not be here long.” Cas turned and looked at Dean. It was breaking his heart to stand in front of this man he had developed feelings for in such a short amount of time. “I think we should break up. Dean, it’s understandable that you would rather be with Lisa than with me. She can give you all the things you want out of life.” 

“Cas, I honestly don’t have any idea what you are talking about. Lisa is helping me end my contract obligations so that I can be free to stay with you here in Blue Falls. Nothing is going on between us and if you had just stuck around and talked to me at the Roadhouse, you wouldn’t be bursting in here demanding we break up.” Dean looked bewildered at Cas’ admission. Dean’s reactions to everything Cas had said so far were starting to confuse him. 

“I’m just going to go, Dean. Call me when things get straightened out.” Lisa picked up her purse and headed for the front door. As she passed by Cas standing just inside the door she gave a small smile but didn’t say anything. Dean nodded at her but did not reply. 

“You were flirting with her, Dean.” Cas stood in front of the cowboy with his arms crossed and his lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s obvious that you still have feelings for her.” 

“What? No, I wasn’t. I’ve known Lisa for so long that it’s just how I act around her. You’ve seen me flirt, sweetheart. You know the difference. And yeah, I mean…I have feelings or whatever. But they aren’t the same ones I have for you.” Dean looked tense but didn’t move to get up from the sofa. 

Castiel was visibly upset. He wanted Dean to be as upset about this as he was. His arms were now wrapped around himself. “Listen, I get it. I really do. You have this public persona thing going on where you play the charming, rugged, down-to-earth cowboy. You are used to the spotlight and you have fans. You and Lisa have a history. But where does that persona end and the real Dean begin? Where do the feelings for Lisa end and the feelings for me begin? I’m not sure now if I’ve seen the real you yet, Dean. Every time I think I get a glance at him, something happens and we’re right back where we started.” At this Dean rose and walked towards Cas. He stopped just out of arms reach. 

“Cas, that’s just me. I am rugged. I mean, just look at me.” Dean swept his hands up and down his body. Cas took in the worn boots, the faded jeans and the black tee shirt that looked as if it had been washed a hundred times. “I am down-to-earth. During the rodeo off-season, I work on my brother’s ranch shoveling crap. I’m not going to comment on being charming because I am trying to be humble here,” Dean continued with a twinkle in his eye. “But do you honestly think that the things I’ve done and said in the past few weeks haven’t been the real me? Do you really think that I would drop you for Lisa so quickly? I didn’t tell you about her, I know. It was a dumb mistake. But I’ll tell you everything you want to know if you’re willing to listen.” Dean stepped forward, a hand to Cas’ cheek. Cas tried not to lean in to Dean but the way he was rubbing his thumb against Cas’ cheekbone back and forth soothingly was calming him down. 

“Just so you know, I’ve never taken anyone to that diner that we went to on our first date. I’ve never brought anyone to a family barbecue before. Ask Sammy. Lisa’s been to Blue Falls before. She came to meet Sam once when we’d just started living together. I didn’t take her to that diner. I didn’t throw a barbecue at Sam’s house when I brought her to town.” Hope and insecurity flowed through Castiel at Dean’s confession. Dean looked sincere but his past was trying to convince him that Dean was lying. “Cas, this whole thing where we date? I’ve told you that relationships are not my strong suit and I mean it. Of course I’m afraid of screwing it up. Who wouldn’t be considering my history? But this matters – you matter.” Dean stepped closer and brought his other hand up to Cas’ face, cupping his jaw carefully. Cas felt cherished by the gesture – something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. “I don’t know how it happened so fast, but you matter to me Cas. Please believe me.” 

Cas let the tears fall. “I do, Dean. I do believe you. I’m so sorry!” He threw himself into Dean’s arms, sobbing out his frustration. He could get past this, he could! Castiel was determined that he would not let his insecurities ruin this for him. He wanted Dean and this relationship and he would do whatever he had to if it meant keeping Dean. 

Epilogue – Monday, July 4th 

Dean and Cas had spent the rest of Sunday night and most of Monday wrapped up in each other at Dean’s place. They’d both slept in their clothes after staying up talking the night before and falling asleep on the sofa. They’d moved to the bed in the early morning hours but neither had been comfortable enough to disrobe. Cas finally told Dean the whole story about leaving Chicago. How helpless he had felt when Uriel had moved from verbal abuse to physical abuse. His whole life had been wrapped up in Uriel; he’d lost his apartment, his job and his friends when he decided to leave. Dean held him as he confessed to calling Gabriel crying because he had nowhere to stay and no money to even get a motel room. Leaving with only a small backpack full of personal belongings he waited at the Greyhound station for Gabe to show up a day later. Cas admitted to Dean that he never wanted to be that helpless and out of control ever again. 

Dean told Cas about Lisa and how young he had been when they decided to live together. He’d enjoyed teaching Lisa’s son Ben about being a man. He’d shown Ben how to protect himself from bullies at school; he’d taught Ben about cars and the importance of regular automobile maintenance; he’d introduced Ben to the wonders of classic rock. Cas smiled at that last admission as he’d rubbed his face in Dean’s chest. Dean told Cas that he thought Lisa was it for him until he’d met another cowboy on the rodeo circuit. He’d slept with the man with almost no thought for Lisa waiting at home. Dean went home to Lisa and confessed. They’d talked about staying together for Ben’s sake but decided in the end that they’d be better role models for him if they abandoned what had become a toxic relationship. 

Dean and Cas both talked about what they wanted out of a relationship and maybe out of a life together. Dean confessed that he’d have to keep doing public appearances for the next 6 months or so but he would be done with riding after the current rodeo circuit season. Cas confessed that he didn’t really like waiting tables and would endeavor to get his teaching certificate in Texas before the school year started. They talked about moving in together but agreed that 3 weeks was too soon to consider a change that big. They both agreed that they would reconsider when Christmas rolled around. 

By the time darkness rolled around and the fireworks started Dean and Cas had fallen silent. They sat on the deck of Dean’s apartment and could barely see the pyrotechnic display being set off from the rodeo grounds in town. Castiel was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster he’d been on for the past week and was ready for things to quiet down now that the rodeo was over. He was optimistic about his future for the first time in over a year and he had a feeling it had everything to do with the man he was snuggled next to. Dean kept running his hands up and down Cas’ arms and planting kisses on his forehead and his ears. Cas tried not to shiver each time a kiss tickled but he had a feeling Dean knew how he was affecting Cas and chose to keep kissing him anyway. Cas took a deep breath and let it out slowly letting himself relax into Dean. This right here was a perfect moment and he didn’t want to forget it. It might be cheesy but he hoped he’d get to keep this cowboy ever after. 

**END**


End file.
